Treat Yourself Through Expression

Donna's (SC) story about her first tattoo:

I have always wanted a tattoo since the first time saw one. When I was younger, they were much more taboo than they seem to be now. That made them seem so exciting and exotic, but I was always told tattoos were for floosies so I made myself think that it wasn't for me.

When my ex-husband and I got divorced, I decided that I deserved to treat myself to the tattoo I had wanted for so long. At the time that I got mine, anyone could go in with you regardless of their age. So, my daughter Kelly, her friend Kim, my daughter Courtney, and their dad went with me. Now of course the place we go requires you to be 18 or older. I am glad we were able to bypass that requirement this time so my daughters could be there.

I was very nervous, especially after I thought I saw this woman bleeding before I went in for mine. Turned out, it was just the red ink running down her side. She was getting a Mickey Mouse tattoo on her lower stomach. My tattoo was painful at first but I am so glad that I got it now.

My tattoo is of 2 roses - one red and one blue. One for each of my daughters. It is on right my ankle. Now that my girls are pretty much grown, I can look at it and think of them everytime I do. It also reminds me how happy I was the day I had it done. That was about 15 years ago and now I would like to get another. I think a dragonfly would be appropriate. We'll see...

May the year's end
Make time to
Call upon memory,
Thinking of those
Moments made,
Reflections to see.
And as the year begins
Bring with it
Sweet reverie,
Imagining all those
Dreams to come,
Pasts soon to be.

~JK

Holding On

My fourth (and fifth) tatoo had much more thought behind it. This tattoo was also not only inked by Dave Scearce, he also helped designed it, and this picture certainly does not do his art justice. I knew I wanted this one to be in honor of family. Specifically, this one was fashioned after something that has always been a part of my life: my teddy bear.

This bear was given to me by my maternal grandfather for my first birthday. We were very close. He unfortunately passed just two years later, and this teddy bear became a symbol of stability in my life. We are all given trials to face as we grow older, and we often look for a constant to keep us grounded. This object usually helps us find comfort when we need it and aids in needed reflection. Although not always as tangible as a teddy bear, we venture to attach meaning to find sense. For 24 years, this bear has seen me through more than even I can sometimes imagine.

The idea began as only getting the bear with angel wings to reflect that people are there for you even after they are gone. It grew into the angel and devil looking over my shoulders because family is there in good times and in bad (and sometimes help lead you both directions). We are faced with decisions everyday. It is not a novel idea to say our past influences where we go in the future. However, this idea is something to think about on occasion.

**Thanks to Dave for all his work and doing this tattoo on my and his birthday last year. I also thank him for sharing his birthday cake in the process.

Edge of a Constellation

To dream of your face
with a star above your eye
and the moon behind your smile

the pillow becomes inadequate
when thinking of your skin
and sheets disappear
when remembering your arms

To walk with you
in the night sky
rolling on the clouds
made from memory and hope

a breeze from the window
becomes your warm breath
the faintest sound
becomes my name on your lips

To have a moment
the late air takes
as quickly as at brings

~JK 10/5/07

History of the Present

The history of tattoos includes many that act as a link to one's history and heritage. Tribes and cultures around the world have used tattoos to make their mark in the world. Not all modern day tattoos uphold this tradition on the surface, but all tattoos can link to the past and help define the present.

My third tatoo in a way holds this to be true. (Again inked by Dave Scearce.) While my Irish heritage is probably in truth a small part of my lineage, it is one with which I have most connected. The Celtic cross stands for so many things that it can often be difficut to trace its history. Because of that it encompasses the ability for one to make a personal definition of the past.

This design in particular was taken from a book that credited it as a tombstone design in Clonmacnois. The lines are neverending in celtic knot fashion illustrating connectedness. Much lore surrounds the Celtic cross. The circle in the center has been fabled to be St. Patrick's attempt to combine the Christian and Pagan or Druid faiths. Regardless, the symbol is evidence of the morphing of history and has come to be what we want it to be.

Although I have never considered myself very religious, I embrace the historical and spiritual. This design is my own reminder of that, which is why it is the easiest for me to see everyday. We are connected to everything around us affecting them as they affect us. We all have purpose, and it all comes full circle. Find in what you believe. Learn from the past to find your place in the present.

Drawn Through Another

My second tattoo followed quickly, and started as the first. I was lucky enough to go back to my same artist (Dave Scearce) and go back with the same good friend. We both went to get ink on our lower backs. This time was different though. We chose different designs this time, and this one certainly has a different story.

I was once compared to Tinkerbell by someone to which I was pretty close at the time. He was simply referring to the saucy attitude. However, the small fairy and I have more in common. Yes, when pushed, the attitude surfaces. Yet underneath, she and I treasure what we have and the good people in our lives, and we would go to great lengths to protect them. (Read the book; much more than Disney.)

So in a sense, this guy had a better point than he thought he did. Now I think about how interesting it is to see yourself through someone else's eyes. He saw attitude. I know what lies underneath. How do we judge others, and how are we judged? Some days I want to know, others I do not. Psychology teaches us perception is reality. So what is my reality?

This tattoo also embodies impulsiveness. This ink probably had the least thought behind it, and was the closest I came to buyer's remorse. Normally I would get on the soapbox to say one should always be sure of a tattoo before getting it done. Yet, now I embrace it. Sometimes the meaning has to grow, or even mature. Even when we think there was no point to something, everything has a reason. This one helped me define a view of myself that began with the misperception of another.

Silly ass.

Ants

Driving
I turn to look
     out my window
And see so many
     stars
For the first time
     in a while
And I wonder
Why am I in such a
     hurry
The stars aren't
They seem to stand
     still
Watching me
They wonder
Why am I in such a
     hurry

~JK 7/9/07