Holding On

My fourth (and fifth) tatoo had much more thought behind it. This tattoo was also not only inked by Dave Scearce, he also helped designed it, and this picture certainly does not do his art justice. I knew I wanted this one to be in honor of family. Specifically, this one was fashioned after something that has always been a part of my life: my teddy bear.

This bear was given to me by my maternal grandfather for my first birthday. We were very close. He unfortunately passed just two years later, and this teddy bear became a symbol of stability in my life. We are all given trials to face as we grow older, and we often look for a constant to keep us grounded. This object usually helps us find comfort when we need it and aids in needed reflection. Although not always as tangible as a teddy bear, we venture to attach meaning to find sense. For 24 years, this bear has seen me through more than even I can sometimes imagine.

The idea began as only getting the bear with angel wings to reflect that people are there for you even after they are gone. It grew into the angel and devil looking over my shoulders because family is there in good times and in bad (and sometimes help lead you both directions). We are faced with decisions everyday. It is not a novel idea to say our past influences where we go in the future. However, this idea is something to think about on occasion.

**Thanks to Dave for all his work and doing this tattoo on my and his birthday last year. I also thank him for sharing his birthday cake in the process.

Edge of a Constellation

To dream of your face
with a star above your eye
and the moon behind your smile

the pillow becomes inadequate
when thinking of your skin
and sheets disappear
when remembering your arms

To walk with you
in the night sky
rolling on the clouds
made from memory and hope

a breeze from the window
becomes your warm breath
the faintest sound
becomes my name on your lips

To have a moment
the late air takes
as quickly as at brings

~JK 10/5/07

History of the Present

The history of tattoos includes many that act as a link to one's history and heritage. Tribes and cultures around the world have used tattoos to make their mark in the world. Not all modern day tattoos uphold this tradition on the surface, but all tattoos can link to the past and help define the present.

My third tatoo in a way holds this to be true. (Again inked by Dave Scearce.) While my Irish heritage is probably in truth a small part of my lineage, it is one with which I have most connected. The Celtic cross stands for so many things that it can often be difficut to trace its history. Because of that it encompasses the ability for one to make a personal definition of the past.

This design in particular was taken from a book that credited it as a tombstone design in Clonmacnois. The lines are neverending in celtic knot fashion illustrating connectedness. Much lore surrounds the Celtic cross. The circle in the center has been fabled to be St. Patrick's attempt to combine the Christian and Pagan or Druid faiths. Regardless, the symbol is evidence of the morphing of history and has come to be what we want it to be.

Although I have never considered myself very religious, I embrace the historical and spiritual. This design is my own reminder of that, which is why it is the easiest for me to see everyday. We are connected to everything around us affecting them as they affect us. We all have purpose, and it all comes full circle. Find in what you believe. Learn from the past to find your place in the present.

Drawn Through Another

My second tattoo followed quickly, and started as the first. I was lucky enough to go back to my same artist (Dave Scearce) and go back with the same good friend. We both went to get ink on our lower backs. This time was different though. We chose different designs this time, and this one certainly has a different story.

I was once compared to Tinkerbell by someone to which I was pretty close at the time. He was simply referring to the saucy attitude. However, the small fairy and I have more in common. Yes, when pushed, the attitude surfaces. Yet underneath, she and I treasure what we have and the good people in our lives, and we would go to great lengths to protect them. (Read the book; much more than Disney.)

So in a sense, this guy had a better point than he thought he did. Now I think about how interesting it is to see yourself through someone else's eyes. He saw attitude. I know what lies underneath. How do we judge others, and how are we judged? Some days I want to know, others I do not. Psychology teaches us perception is reality. So what is my reality?

This tattoo also embodies impulsiveness. This ink probably had the least thought behind it, and was the closest I came to buyer's remorse. Normally I would get on the soapbox to say one should always be sure of a tattoo before getting it done. Yet, now I embrace it. Sometimes the meaning has to grow, or even mature. Even when we think there was no point to something, everything has a reason. This one helped me define a view of myself that began with the misperception of another.

Silly ass.

Ants

Driving
I turn to look
     out my window
And see so many
     stars
For the first time
     in a while
And I wonder
Why am I in such a
     hurry
The stars aren't
They seem to stand
     still
Watching me
They wonder
Why am I in such a
     hurry

~JK 7/9/07 

First Lines

So the best place to start is the beginning. My first tattoo. Simple enough, just two small butterfiles on the ankle.

I went with a great friend of mine, who was brave enough to get the same design in the same place. We would later revisit the experience for our second tattoos, but that comes later.

At 18 years old, it was the thing to do. The art was inspired by the doodles that often occupied my time in class. Did not seem like much of a story then. Just two friends getting matching tattoos. Two butterflies for two people, with simple interchanging colors.

Yet, as it happens with most stories, I can say now how much more was behind it. It was the mark of a friendship, and the mark of time. This ink was simplicity in the midst of coming changes (leaving out all butterfly metaphors, as that was not the intention). We would of course leave for college soon. That did not seem like a big change since that would only be an hour from home. Even though we went to different schools, we were in the same city. But as most people would say, college brings change. Maybe it is because of what you experience. Maybe it is just because you get older and grow up. Either way, change comes. Ink can preserve.

We originally wanted to get this along the side of the foot, and were convinced otherwise by our artist (Dave Scearce) becasue of how easily ink fades there. Now, I am glad we listened. Every time I look at it, I smile. I remember all those things then, in that town, that shaped who I am now. We can push ourselves to move out and face the new, but the past is always there waiting to be recalled for reflection. I would not change it for anything.

...and it was an easy first tattoo. Listen when you are told that once you get one, you will get hooked on the ink.